[Addendum to "Amy’s Response," found at the end of the post: A few days after posting "Receiving is Self-Supporting" I suddenly had the wrenching thought that readers, especially those who do not know me particularly well, would see the following as a thinly veiled "televangelistic" attempt to ask for money. Since nothing could be further from the truth, I had not entertained that thought. Please read the post with this understanding so that the full message can be received, or at least contemplated. Thank you.]
Soul Notes: Receiving Is Self-Supporting, 4 February 2011
Introduction: For those of you who are regular readers of this blog, you know that in part I use it to make an example of my walk through this world of wonder so that my experiences become teaching stories for those of you who might find yourself experiencing similar sorts of things. Or for those who may have friends or family who are in similar places that, as a result, you might be inclined to rush to judge negatively or harshly. The inherent invitation in these posts is always one of moving toward a larger version of a too-small story, whatever that may be. If you’ve read enough of these posts, you also know that I am able to sometimes hear directly from other Aspects of my Self/Soul, by which the personality self with all its worries and foibles is usually lifted by a higher teaching of Truth shared by the Soul. When all else fails, turn to Truth. “Truth” is ever real. Sometimes concealed, at other times revealed, Truth appears apropos of one’s current state of evolution in consciousness. In the case of revelation, the timeliness of the revelation to the individual must be considered. At least, this is the gospel according to Amy. Today’s message reveals what was, till now at least, concealed. And the revelation has given me a vastly expanded understanding of what it can mean to be self-supporting.
Beloved Amy, at this moment, you are at one of those points in your life when you have reached a pinnacle of awareness that supports a deeper knowing and a broadening of definitions, which in this case will together allow one of those cleansing, deep breaths you so appreciate and currently need. For this moment to exist, a movement consisting of a multitude of events and circumstances coming together in just the right ways had to occur. So, before we go into the details of your upcoming deep breath, we will share two small, but significant parts of the history of this confluence.
Without knowing it at the time, your body’s decline in the late-1980s to a less than healthy state was part of that movement, as was the unexpected loss of your job in 1994. The past seventeen years have been riddled with guilt and shame at what seemed to you to be a sudden inability to maintain stability in supporting yourself. In that time you have continually examined and re-examined your fears, beliefs, motives, and actions to determine if (and in what ways) you may have been sabotaging yourself. Every time, however, you came up empty-handed on that score, always knowing that you had done the best you could. You’ve done so in spite of the fact that it has felt as if some pall had been cast over you and in spite of others’ beliefs that you were perhaps “lazy” or that you saw yourself as “entitled” in some way, thus engendering their judgment, which only increased the guilt and shame and, of course, has not helped the state of your health. However, these experiences set the stage for your life of service to others, something you believed you would never be able to create. You see your service as your counseling, teaching, writing. But we wish to tell you not to discount either your years of songwriting and performing or your years of creating beauty for people’s homes, both of which have uplifted many hearts and spirits and added much peace to the world.
So, a’ la the contemporary vernacular, “Now for the reveal!” As you know, humans, along with other species, are engaged in and integral to the continuous Balancing necessary in a world of duality. As you discovered several years ago, the movement of Giving/Receiving is the mode of balance, the constant in-and-out-breath of Life Itself on your planet and in all other realms of existence. And as you are fond of teaching, “To give and receive are one in truth; I will receive what I am giving now.” [A Course in Miracles]
Of the far-too-many-to-count lives you have lived (or are currently living, if you were to focus on the non-existence of Time), there are three in which you were extremely wealthy. In each of those lives, you gave and gave to many hundreds of people. The more you gave, the more you had, which is, of course, the way open-hearted giving works. In the energetic movement that is Giving/Receiving, there must be a giver for there to be a receiver and a receiver for there to be a giver. When the time is right and it is appropriate to do so, the receiver must give back in equal measure. For that to occur, and as we spoke about earlier, many things must come together in just the right ways. A pathway must be created that will permit the confluence. For this particular lifetime, before incarnating, you chose to experience not having much in the way of material wealth or stability. You did this so that those who had benefited from your generosity during those former lives could have the opportunity to give to you at this time.
It would be extremely humbling if you could see all the people who wish to freely give to you right now. And it would shock you to learn that the majority of them are blocked from doing so by your belief that you must be self-supporting, which to you means that you have to earn your sustenance, must receive it for work done rather than from the simple state of being in your rightful place of receivership. Dear one, you do not have to do anything to receive other than to change your thoughts about it. And we will give you another truth: Your belief is keeping the multitudes from completing their karma, which is simply another way of saying that it is preventing them from the fulfillment of their desire to return love for love. People are moved to give to you without really knowing consciously why this is so. Of course, for the ones who know you, the fact that you are serving the hungry world in the ways that you do contributes to their understanding of such a desire within themselves. However, they feel that there is something deeper, too, which is the stirring echoes of a long-held memory of your generosity to them.
We have talked before about only attending to your mission to serve, and do so without worry for how you will be supported. Now we ask you to understand that a large part of your mission is to freely accept, freely receive from all those who want to give to you. Understand that there are many sources and means all around you that we have access to that do not involve clients and workshops. However, again we remind that your beliefs about how it is appropriate for sustenance to come your way are hindering our ability to create that movement, so give yourself permission to let us do our job by doing yours and letting go of what you have earnestly, and mistakenly, believed.
We know that your deep breath will not come all at once; you will need to live into the Truth that we have revealed and will need to reassert your trust and faith from time to time. When you move into fear and worry, turn to one of your pictures of a Master, perhaps the photo of Jesus containing the Earth, and say, “I trust you to provide for me, to support me, and I willingly receive from all those who want to give to me.” You may also call upon Archangel Michael, asking him to “take my fears, doubts, and worries because they are keeping me from my mission.”
It is our joy to bring this message to you, dear Amy. And we leave you with one other gift. For a long time you have wanted to know your true name, your Spirit Name, and so we are happy to share it. You are Arielle Mist, which means Beloved Mist. Mist refers to the aura of love, welcome, and acceptance that envelops those in your presence. Arielle also means “Lion of God.” Now you know why your heart is so deeply moved by Aslan, the lion representing the Christ presence and Light in your beloved C.S. Lewis books. We hope that your heart can open to our words this day. As ever, we are your Circle of Timeless Ones.
Amy’s Response . . . It has been a week since the revelation and I have been processing all that it can and, I presume, does mean for me. At first blush, I felt excited, perhaps even a bit exalted (rapturously excited) because certain things that I’ve been struggling mightily with were finally understandable within the context of new information. I’m able to say that the things that I heard last weekend are starting to settle in at a deeper level. I’ve come to really understand that part of my life’s mission is to receive; that the receiving is a significant aspect of the means by which I am to be self-supporting. I support myself by my willingness to receive all that is wanting to be given. In other words, my work is now only to receive. Counseling, teaching, writing, all of which have felt like my work (albeit, what I’d call work-play because I love what I “do”), are significant and provide great purpose, yet are not how I “have to” support myself. Those are the ways I support others in embodying the truths and the Truth of their lives. And while I often receive the energy of money for doing so, the “doing” is apparently not necessary to support me in the traditional sense. In other words, I am now to be most self-supporting by permitting myself to let the “Love that fires the sun keep me burning.”* To let those who are ready to return love for love do so, which can only happen by my not blocking the way with worry and fear.
I feel a sense of freedom and relief tempered by the realization that the energy signature I have become most comfortable with is that of struggle. Now I must practice a new way of thinking and being. I can tell that it will take me some time to fully integrate and become comfortable in this new Truth. And, I feel pretty confident in saying that I am up to the task. In fact, this task may be the greatest work of my life, may even be why I took life this time. I don’t know if that’s so, however the revelation is clearly that significant. The only way I could fail would be to not receive. And as I write that, I find that yes, I am willing to receive, to graciously receive from all who feel moved to give. And, true to the nature of the movement, I will continue to give at the highest levels of which I’m capable.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve given myself permission to trust Life’s Great Movement – Giving/Receiving. And so it is.