Soul Notes: Knock Knock, 31 May 2010
Quite a depressing tale I’m telling this morning. Any “up and outs” available?
sure. knock knock.
me as you; wanna join me?
surely you jest.
no, but you may.
jest as long as you like.
you mean i’m joking? my life is not a joke!
perhaps not; but could it be a joy?
surely you continue your jesting.
no joke, amy. joy is only the other side of what you’ve unknowingly nourished all these years – your father’s skewed and dangerous vision of who you are and who you aren’t.
i’m tired and i just want to go home.
home has never betrayed or abandoned you.
maybe not; but it’s not doing much to welcome me, either.
only your eyes and heart can do that; no one can make that choice for you.
i just don’t know how to dig any deeper.
honey, you don’t have to dig deeper; that hole is deep enough! just look up. there’s light up here. turn around and grab hold of the ladder you descended and just climb, rung by rung, back up into the light. it’s where you come from, you know. no reason to languish in that pit of your father’s creation that you felt compelled to maintain all these years. the light belongs to you and you to it. while it’s ever been true that your light cannot be taken from you, you, my dear, can continue not seeing yourself lit up. as ginger has ventured forth onto the porch these past three days, absorbing the sunlight as she can, could you, too, not take a few steps up out of that hole?
what would it look like? those few steps, i mean.
it’s little more than letting the air of your wondrous world into your lungs; letting the sunlight bathe your body; letting the birdsong into your heart. these godgifts are meant to sustain you; they cannot be taken away. as you allow yourself to breathe, absorb, hear, the air around you lightens; that is, light comes into the darkness. you always have the option to start over from where you are. let your dreams see the light of day again. if they don’t come to fruition, it won’t be because you squelched the possibility, but because the “great scheme” that is your life had a different agenda. you, amy, must nourish the dream; must have it, own it, feel it, ingest it, live it. without your incubation, of course it will turn back into nothingness! you are the light that feeds the dream. without you, the dream is nothing more than an egg left in an empty nest. so get excited about your nest; get excited about the new car that is right now, if you choose to see it this way, being driven toward you; get excited about more enlivening work sitting on the doorstep awaiting an open door; get excited about what you truly are capable of and stop abandoning your nests! stop laying little speckled eggs and then not warming and tending them. do your job so that we can do ours. without your part, ours is impossible. as you tend to your eggs and keep your nest fortified, we can then put the wheels of the world in motion. without you, we cannot do the job we are so very capable of doing, so very happy to do for and with you. there is a saying in your world: “if you build it, they will come.” if you sit on your eggs, we cannot help but sit on ours!
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